My testimony reflects my knowledge that my Heavenly Father knows me, loves me, and blesses me. In my life I have wanted to be in control, perhaps the reaction of being the youngest of six children who had many family members telling me their opinions of how I should live my life. As is often the case, others rarely know what is best for another person but I have learned that my Heavenly Father does.
I have experienced tension in my life between what I felt my Heavenly Father has blessed me with, talents of curiosity and a desire to learn, and Mormon societal expectations. These expectations were voiced by my mother stating that I would not be happy unless I was a wife and a mother. I have indeed found joy in these roles, but also in my role as an individual who loves to research and learn.
I majored in history and then earned a Master of Library Science because it seemed an appropriate degree for a woman. But while working at the Genealogical Society as a librarian, I decided to return to full time studies. I met my future husband, who had already been accepted at the University of Chicago. We married and left for Chicago and we continue to live in the Chicago area after over thirty years. While supporting my husband while he earned his PhD, I decided that I wanted to return to graduate study, and about the time my husband finished I began my own doctoral studies in Ottoman history at the University of Chicago. This was difficult, but what inspired my determination was the knowledge that my Heavenly Father had made this option possible for me. More than once when I thought I would not qualify for a grant I put the matter in the Lord’s hands. In ways that seem miraculous to me despite numerous obstacles, I received my PhD six months before my daughter graduated from high school. While my professional life has never followed a traditional course, I find more opportunities appearing for me than ever before.
I know the Lord wants his daughters to develop their talents, which vary widely from individual to individual. I try to excel as a scholar and as a mother, and while this is challenging it is also fulfilling. I am grateful to my children, who understand that their mother has commitments in addition to mothering. I have been blessed with remarkable children, and I appreciate the love and support of my husband, children, and extended family.
I am grateful for the personal revelation which I have received, which has been a comfort and support to me when I feel discouraged by what some church members express about how they feel others should live their lives. One example of this personal revelation is from my patriarchal blessing. It quotes the scripture “Be thou humble and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers” (Doctrine and Covenants 112:10). It then continues: “I bless you that in your scholastic endeavors your mind may be enlightened and your understanding quickened that you may readily grasp and understand the lessons presented to you.” Toward the end of the blessing it states: “I bless you with health and strength, with vigor of mind and of body and of spirit, that you may live to fill the full measure of your creation here upon the earth and have joy, peace, happiness and satisfaction therein.” I am striving to live up to my blessing “to fill the full measure of [my] creation,” which means in my case to be active in research, writing, and publishing, as well as being a wife and a mother.
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Christine Isom-Verhaaren received her PhD in 1997, from the University of Chicago. She teaches History and Global Studies at Benedictine University in Lisle, Illinois, near Chicago. She is the author, among other publications, of Allies with the Infidel: The Ottoman-French Alliance in the Sixteenth Century (2011) and is currently researching and writing The Sultan’s Fleet.
Posted February 2011
The first thing I have to admit is that writing a testimony for me is like stepping on sacred ground that has been kept in a very sacred place in my heart. So when I started wondering how to express the testimony that I gained about my Savior, Jesus Christ, through so many years of prayers, trials, and wonderful spiritual experiences, I understood it has been a very long process, of which the foundations were laid many years before I became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
As a believing Mormon and practicing Mesoamerican archaeologist, I’m frequently questioned by strangers and neighbors about physical evidence and proofs of the Book of Mormon. I try to dissuade both friends and foes alike from going down this path, because absolute proof is a logical and philosophical impossibility. I have frequently made three claims that may at first glance appear at odds: (1) archaeological evidence will never prove or disprove the truth or falsity of the Book of Mormon, (2) the amount of physical evidence that potentially corroborates claims in the Book of Mormon has increased as a function of more and better archaeology, and (3) evidence gets interpreted according to one’s prior belief or disbelief in the book. Belief is sight, and disbelief is blindness. This is a well-known social and psychological phenomenon not limited to religious, political, or scientific topics, and I will not explore it further. Antecedent beliefs account for most of the shouting about the Book of Mormon I have read or heard (except for that by disgruntled or excommunicated Mormons). Belief of some sort precedes any parade of evidence, and believers of all stripes tend to see what they look for.
I am writing this at the invitation of Dan Peterson. Evidently, he has had contact with “cultured” gentlemen, and ladies, who regard the Gospel and all religions as “cults.” I find this attitude to be amusing since the words cultured and cult have the same root.
Not claiming to be a model of Mormon mantra, I have, nonetheless, tried learning and doing God’s wisdom enough to feel His loving kindness, to see His tender mercies in my life, and to benefit from His two-by-four tutoring when I need growth, perspective, or attitude adjustment. For that is how one gets acquainted with God and His Son, the Messiah: by learning about them (in scripture) and then doing what one learns, which brings regular witnesses of their love for us and their involvement in our lives—if we live for it, and that is the key.
From early boyhood I had a strong curiosity about nature. My first grade teacher in Los Angeles, Mrs. Cunningham, sent a note home to my parents to this effect. It’s one I now possess. It seems that I was born with an inquiring mind. This apparently annoyed some people, as I was told, “Why do you question everything?” I soon stopped, or at least curtailed my questioning. Then a college professor said in a class of his that I was taking, that the only foolish questions, in his opinion, were those not asked. I felt vindicated. Years later when I first started teaching in college, I did all I could to encourage thinking and questioning. This helped me become more aware of what students understood (or didn’t) and were actually saying. This same attitude of mine has been applied to the teaching I’ve done over the years in the LDS Church wards I was in—from Primary to Gospel Doctrine classes.
In my eighth grade English class, we had to write an “I am” poem: this particular style provides a rather simple formula for composing self-reflective verse. In the first line, for example, the author lists two personal characteristics; they are followed by the identification of desires, dreams, beliefs, hopes, and so forth.
Although I took a philosophy of science class as an undergraduate, my first real exposure to the history and philosophy of science occurred several years later when I was in the army and stationed at Fort Devens, Massachusetts. With my evenings free I signed up for a graduate course on the Scientific Revolution (Copernicus to Newton) taught by I.B. Cohen at Harvard University. After the first class period I was hooked, and over the next two years I took several more history of science courses. I also began applying to full-time graduate programs, and when Indiana University offered me a scholarship to study in its History and Philosophy of Science Program, I jumped at the chance. The scholarship was much appreciated. My wife Janet and I had five children at the time and our sixth and last child was born while I was still in graduate school.
As a sixth-generation Mormon I have enjoyed the poetic language we have developed in our LDS culture, but still find myself translating everything I hear into my own technical language so that I am able to internalize it. Some folks like to compartmentalize their belief, keeping the spiritual separate from the secular. I don’t know how they can do that—isn’t Heavenly Father Lord of all things? For me it is either all or nothing, where no concept is immune to that null hypothesis. Many religious terms have been inherited from ages past, where sometimes highly complex and technical subjects had to be described in the language of the time. Also, much of the language we use today has a great deal of baggage attached dating from early-fourth-century Nicaea and similar tumultuous historical events—no wonder some folks have come to think that religion is associated with mysticism and superstition. I’m so thankful that Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and latter-day leaders have set a foundation that restores plainness, order, and lawfulness to where it was in the beginning. The Gospel is simple, but people try to overlay their own versions of complexity and vagueness on it. Therefore, the following is a tentative list of terms, and their working definitions, that I have found useful to help me understand some LDS concepts. I make no apology that these descriptions show my own engineering bias.
Before he died at the ripe old age of eighteen, my dog led me on daily walks around the block and through the universe. Sometimes, I stopped to look at a teeming colony of tiny black ants filling a sidewalk crack or at Venus gleaming next to a new moon in the darkening sky. I thought often of the men and women through the ages who labored incessantly to connect their observational dots to try to make sense of the world. Darwin, Newton, and Einstein are just three of the countless humans whose legacy still enriches our understanding of life and the cosmos in countless ways.