To testify is to give a witness. I am grateful for the chance to stand with colleagues and friends as part of a “cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1) of the divinity of Jesus Christ and the reality of the Restoration of His Church through the prophet Joseph Smith. In doing so I can briefly give my witness of that which I have seen and experienced with the hope that others might desire to “experiment upon the word” and know through their own experience (see Alma 32:27).
I am a believer, a Christian, and a Latter-day Saint. This should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with the criteria for being a Religion professor at one of the universities operated by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The surprise might be that I made it there. That I am still a believer and a faithful Latter-day Saint after my doctoral work in Religious Studies, a field that is notorious for promoting skepticism and doubt.
The experiences that I have had that make me a believer in many ways are no different than any other faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who seeks to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. What may put me and fellow faithful academics in a unique category is prolonged exposure to a perspective on reality that has fundamentally different ontological and epistemological assumptions.
There will always be some historical or theological questions to which we do not have answers, but the fundamental questions and answers are the most important. My witness is that reality does include more than we can perceive with our senses. My experience is that there is a God that loves us and communicates with us, both personally and through modern-day prophets. My testimony is that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that His redemptive power can be felt today on an individual level.
In this sense I identify strongly with the man born blind in John chapter 9, who, when asked about something to which he could not answer, replied: “I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see” (John 9:25). I am not worried to answer either my students or critics with an admission of my lack of omniscience because of this “one thing I know.” My life has been profoundly changed through the healing, sanctifying influence of Jesus Christ. And I have found Him through The Book of Mormon and through my faithfulness to the covenants that I have made in His restored Church.
I was twenty years old, a student a Brigham Young University, a believer, but struggling on many levels. I had been faithful in reading scriptures daily since starting Seminary, our early-morning religious education, in High School, but life was more complicated as a college student and I found myself feeling helpless amid the challenges I faced. At that time the recent words of the then-current Church President, Ezra Taft Benson, came to my mind. “When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives” (Ensign, May 1988, 4). Because I believed that he was the Lord’s prophet I was willing to experiment on this word, to try it out for myself. At that point my frame of reference was such that I wasn’t completely sure what this involved, but I knew that he had encouraged Church members to read the Book of Mormon every day and I knew that I wasn’t doing that.
So I took the challenge to do this and a few other small practices of religious observance that I knew I could do better. I cannot describe all the changes that occurred in my life over the course of the next weeks, months, and years, but I can testify that I changed. I began to be able to recognize the voice of the Lord speaking to me individually. Even more importantly I began to experience a change of heart in regard to the things of righteousness. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be what God wanted me to be and I was willing to make changes in my life.
My faith in Christ continues to increase as I feel the sanctifying influence of His Spirit and Atonement in my life. Paul taught “For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God” (1 Corinthians 2:11-12). Seeking for and following this kind of knowledge is a life-long process.
I continue to read the Book of Mormon on a daily basis, along with the Bible, as I also continue to read and learn from the insights of secular scholarship in Religious Studies. It does not bother me that others, more secular scholars or scholars from other faith traditions, have perspectives that differ from mine about Jesus Christ’s divinity, the calling of the prophet Joseph Smith, the authenticity of the Book of Mormon, and the revelations and ordinances held sacred in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I believe that most of them are very good people of integrity, but I know what I know through experience that has changed me: “one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see” (John 9:25). My hope is that others will “come and see” if anything good can come out of the Restoration through their own experience (see John 1:46).
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Jennifer C. Lane is an associate professor of Religious Education at Brigham Young University-Hawaii. She received her Ph.D. in Religion from Claremont Graduate University, with an emphasis in History of Christianity, in 2003. She received her M.A. and B.A. from Brigham Young University in Ancient Near Eastern Studies and History, respectively. She serves on the Executive Board of the Society for Mormon Philosophy and Theology. Her presentations and publications include work on adoptive redemption in the Old Testament, the writings of Paul, and the Book of Mormon; Franciscan piety in late medieval Jerusalem pilgrimage and interactions with eastern Christians; New Testament historical context; and Latter-day Saint theology and doctrine.
Posted December 2009
To many people, spiritual belief appears irrational and organized religion can seem like a threat to autonomy. On both counts, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints looks suspicious. While its claims of angels, gold plates, lost civilizations, and modern prophets may not inherently be any more implausible than the miracles and beliefs of other faiths, the fact that all of this came together less than two hundred years ago, at a time when Joseph Smith’s life and teachings could be documented, gives one pause. And since 1830, the Mormon Church has developed into a large, hierarchical, tightly-controlled institution that wields considerable economic and political power, and which excludes women from most leadership positions. In addition, surveys regularly show that Mormons are among the most highly partisan religious groups in the United States with respect to party affiliation, they are among the least likely to believe in evolution, and their track record on civil rights is mixed, at best. Why would someone who cares about history, science, intellectual freedom, and pluralism be interested in such a religion?
My testimony of the gospel and Church of Jesus Christ is not only what I believe, but why. When we understand why we believe what we believe, we are more grounded, constant, and secure in our beliefs. Throughout my life, I have had numerous personal and intellectual experiences that affirm and re-affirm my testimony. I have learned that a testimony is complete when we add because of to what we believe and have experiences that complete the because query.
Having been raised in a family in which both paternal and maternal lines have been in the Church for generations, I probably leaned on the strength of others’ testimonies for some of my growing-up years. I saw nothing but good in the Church and seriously yearned for everything I learned to be true.
I grew up with my mom in a little pink house in Parkersburg, Illinois—a farm town of 250 people in the southeastern part of the state. My mom wasn’t a regular churchgoer, but she was a good Christian who tried to teach me to be grateful and patient and honest. Because of her, I grew up believing in God. I always knew someone was watching over us. I knew that no matter what went wrong in this world, someone would set things right in the end. Growing up in Parkersburg, I didn’t know about living prophets or modern-day scriptures. I didn’t know that God could reveal himself, through his Spirit, to ordinary people. But in my early twenties, I was taught truths that most people in this life never receive. I learned that everyone on earth is a child of God—even me. I learned to repent, through the atonement of Jesus Christ. I learned the things every member of the Church is supposed to know, but I learned them in my own way. Everyone’s conversion story is unique, because each person is unique. My conversion started when I was eleven years old and watching my favorite TV show.
Portions of this text were published previously in “Thirty Years After the Long-Promised Day: Reflections and Expectations” (BYU Studies) and “Mormon Beliefs Not Peculiar” (Honolulu Advertiser)
As I have progressed through my life, my commitment to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has deepened for two reasons. The first is my reason for belonging to the church as an organized institution: because of the way the church is organized, it puts opportunities to help others in my path every day. It facilitates my efforts – and in some instances almost compels me – to practice Christianity, not just believe in it. The second is my reason for believing that the doctrines taught in the church are true. As I have studied the Bible and the Book of Mormon, I have come to know through the power of the Spirit of God, that these books contain the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. My conviction has deepened as I have continued to study these books and have tried to do the will of my Father in Heaven.
Some people would have us believe that Mormonism is incompatible with academic sophistication and that intellectuals cannot feel comfortable in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is a myth created largely by Mormons who, for various reasons, find fault with the Church. My observations of many years within LDS intellectual circles lead me to conclude entirely the opposite. Mormonism has produced thousands of scholars with advanced degrees from the best institutions who have found in their education and their disciplines countless reasons to affirm their belief in the Latter-day Saint faith. The real “Mormon intellectual community” consists of people who love their religion; see in it, its history, its sacred texts, and its leaders, the hand of God at work; and are faithful to their covenants regarding it. What follows is one small example from my own experience.
The dictionary defines mystery as something that people cannot understand, something beyond human knowledge or understanding, something that cannot be explained rationally.