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Anger Without A Cause? – President Oaks and a False Narrative

December 18, 2018 by FAIR Staff

 

The debate surrounding LGBT issues is one high in emotion and passion, with all sides having strongly held beliefs and entrenched views. Often, the flash point of these debates revolves around the religious beliefs of those who question the morality of LGBT behavior. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is no exception to this rule, being one of the more conservative religions when it comes to this topic. One church leader in particular has himself become a lightning rod on the subject.

“Harmful rhetoric” and “discrimination” were alleged to have been a part of President Dallin H. Oaks’ recent General Conference talk entitled Truth and the Plan. These claims were made by Lori Davis, a Board Member of a group called Mama Dragons, a group whose stated purpose is to provide support for Mormon and former Mormon mothers of LGBT children. A brief review of social media and other contemporary news articles will quickly demonstrate that the Mama Dragons were not alone in their feelings that some wrong was committed by Elder Oaks. Others actually implied that people may have to call a crisis line following the talk. Such drastic condemnation would certainly lead the reasonable reader to ask what horrible thing President Oaks said to possibly elicit such a strong response.

Unfortunately, despite the strong rhetoric, many who made the condemning statements on social media and elsewhere failed to cite what words were actually offensive. General indignation seemed to be sufficient for those people. Some, fortunately, were more specific. I’d like to look at several of them, and analyze what they might tell us about this issue, how those from different viewpoints are approaching it, and what we can learn from it. [Read more…] about Anger Without A Cause? – President Oaks and a False Narrative

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: apologetics, Family, Gospel Doctrine: Old Testament, Gospel topics, homosexuality, Marriage, same-sex marriage, sames sex attraction, youth

Of Testimonies and Twelve Year Olds

June 18, 2017 by Scott Gordon

Members sitting in Sacrament Meeting
Members in Sacrament Meeting. Picture source: https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/sacrament-meeting-578251?lang=eng

Recently, a video has been on social media about a 12 year old young woman speaking in a testimony meeting about being gay. This is being promoted as a heartfelt moment of tenderness, only to be ruined by the bad stake leader, who happened to be on the stand that day, who asked her to sit down. The mom writes, “…this stake member chose to hurt my child, I don’t know his reasons.”[1]

So, let’s put this in context.

UNDERSTANDING LDS CHURCH MEETINGS

Each Sunday, Mormons meet together. Our most sacred meeting is called “Sacrament Meeting.” According to the Church Handbook of Instructions, 18.2.2, it says:

Each sacrament meeting should be a spiritual experience in which members of the Church renew their covenants by partaking of the sacrament. Other purposes of sacrament meeting are to worship, provide gospel instruction, perform ordinances, conduct ward business, and strengthen faith and testimony.[2]

In instructions given to Church leaders we read:

…bishoprics and branch presidencies need to plan sacrament meetings thoughtfully in order to keep the meetings focused on the Lord and His Atonement, His example, and the doctrines of the gospel.[3]

One Sunday each month, members have a special Sacrament meeting called “Fast and Testimony” meeting. Prior to attending the meeting, members typically go without eating two meals. This fasting is to put themselves into a spiritual frame of mind of worship. Usually, members take the money saved from fasting and put it towards feeding the poor. As part of that meeting, after the sacrament (Communion), “the conducting brother bears a brief testimony. He then invites members to bear brief, heartfelt testimonies of the Savior, His teachings, and the Restoration.”[4]

These testimonies are not speeches or talks. They are not pre-written. They are not a time of advocacy. They are short, extemporaneously expressed, heartfelt feelings about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and how we have been strengthened by it. On lds.org it says:

A testimony is a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost. The foundation of a testimony is the knowledge that Heavenly Father lives and loves His children; that Jesus Christ lives, that He is the Son of God, and that He carried out the infinite Atonement; that Joseph Smith is the prophet of God who was called to restore the gospel; that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Savior’s true Church on the earth; and that the Church is led by a living prophet today. With this foundation, a testimony grows to include all principles of the gospel. [5]

With this in mind, let’s look at this incident.

THE EVENT

From her mother, we learn that Savannah has been struggling recently. Her Dad and 4 siblings attend church regularly, while her mom stays home with “our oldest”. From context, that appears to be Savannah. Savannah was the one who wanted to do this. She had been pushing her parents on this for several months. Her mother says:

She wanted to be herself in front of them, see if church would be a place to accept her, and to speak up in case there was another LGBT person in the congregation that needed to hear they weren’t alone.

So, Savannah invited several of her friends to come hear her, and they recorded the event.[6] Several in the Ex Mormon community, including the guy who sneaks into Temples to record people, are now pushing hard to get this incident promoted to all of the press outlets and on social media.[7]

As this girl’s parents know, Fast and Testimony meeting isn’t a place for giving speeches, which is what she did. She had her speech all written out and read it from the pulpit. I wish her parents had talked with her more about appropriate forums and venues. This isn’t about whether a girl is struggling with her sexuality, or about how a Church leader handled it. This is a clear case of hijacking a meeting, promoting false teachings, and exploiting a child’s inexperience to create a media event. Savannah was likely allowed to say much more from the pulpit than an adult would have been allowed to say.

Her testimony starts out fine.

Hi, my name is Savannah, and I want to share my testimony with you.
I believe I am the child of Heavenly parents.
I don’t know if they talk to us, but I feel in my heart that they made me and that they love me.
I believe that I was made the way I am, all parts of me, by my Heavenly Parents.
They did not mess up when they gave me brown eyes, or when I was born bald. They did not mess up when they gave me freckles, or when they made me to be gay.

That part is fine. Even mentioning her sexuality, could be seen as appropriate within a testimony given during Fast and Testimony meeting. Next, in an actual testimony, you would expect something about how some life event, has helped her to grow spiritually. But, Savannah doesn’t do that. She goes on advocating for her position by saying:

“No part of me is a mistake.”

“I do not choose to be this way and it is not a fad.”

“I know I am not a horrible sinner for being who I am.”

“I know I can have all of these things as a lesbian and be happy.”

“I believe that if God is there, he knows I am perfect just the way I am and would never ask me to live my life alone or with someone I am not attracted to.”

In the middle of her speech she says, “I believe God would tell me if I was wrong.”

Well, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we believe he did exactly that. We do not believe she is a “horrible sinner” for being who she is, but you will find our teachings on family and relationships clearly stated in the document titled “The Family, a Proclamation to the World.”[8] This is a fundamental belief of our faith. In essence, she is saying that she doesn’t trust the teachings of Jesus Christ given through our prophets today.

THE EXIT NARRATIVE

While talking about the love of God, which we can all agree with, her speech was calling out the beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as false. It follows the pattern of a typical exit narrative which reads, I used to believe the Church is true, but now I find joy and happiness outside of Church teachings. I hope you will give up your false beliefs and follow me. Anyone advocating that from the pulpit should be asked to step down, even if they are twelve years old.

HEAVENLY FATHER’S PLAN

Savannah is correct in stating that we are all unique. We are all born with various talents and gifts. We are all born with passions and desires. We are all born with weaknesses and frailties.

Heavenly Father’s plan is to have us learn to overcome our weaknesses and frailties. It is to control our passions and desires. It is to develop our talents and gifts. He gave us a set of guidelines called commandments that will give us the greatest amount of happiness in mortality and eternal life. The question is if we believe and trust Him.

None of us are perfect just the way we are. That is a child’s point of view. All of us have difficulties. Many of us do have to live our lives alone. It is one of life’s many challenges.

THE FUTURE

I wish Savannah the best no matter what her future choices might be. I hope that her parents, step in to de-escalate this event. Every child needs to be allowed to grow. I think of those young people I know who thought they were gay when they were 12 or 13, and are now in happy heterosexual relationships. I care for one of them very much. I would hate to have had her in the headlines while she was deciding which direction her life might go.

After Savannah spoke, the Church leader conducting stood up and repeated the uplifting and true statements that Savannah made. There was no harsh language. There was no condemnation. There was no negative judgement. There was no lack of support for Savannah as a daughter of God. What occurred was a stake leader protecting the purpose of the Sacrament meeting and refocusing it on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This was simply a case of inappropriate venue and advocacy.

 

[1] https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/6a31bl/did_anyone_hear_about_the_12yo_girl_whose_mic_was/

[2] https://www.lds.org/handbook/handbook-2-administering-the-church/meetings-in-the-church/18.2.1?lang=eng#182

[3] https://www.lds.org/ensign/2004/08/worshiping-at-sacrament-meeting?lang=eng&_r=1

[4] https://www.lds.org/ensign/2004/08/worshiping-at-sacrament-meeting?lang=eng&_r=1

[5] https://www.lds.org/topics/testimony?lang=eng

[6] Recording our worship service in the chapel is against church policy. But, being guests, they likely didn’t know that, or didn’t care.

[7] He stated on Reddit, “I offered to edit and distribute the video as well as promote the hell out of it. I’ve spent at least 40 hours in the past ten days editing and promoting the video to every media contact I’ve made (and a lot of new ones).”

[8] https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true

Filed Under: Homosexuality Tagged With: Family, homosexuality, youth

RiseUp Podcast – Doubt Your Doubts – Interview with Chad Conrad

June 17, 2015 by NickGalieti

https://media.blubrry.com/mormonfaircast/www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/RiseUp-ChadConrad-DoubtYourDoubts.mp3

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1668-2007-thickbox“Doubt Your Doubts” by Chad Conrad is an eye-opening read that will help readers strengthen their faith, confront controversial topics and find relevant answers to everyday life. The book addresses hot-button questions, such as “Why don’t women hold the priesthood?” and “How should we deal with homosexuality?” Readers’ toughest gospel questions can become testimony-builders with this timely and informative book.

To purchase a copy of Doubt Your Doubts, buy it at a discount through the FairMormon Bookstore.
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Filed Under: Apologetics, Hosts, Nick Galieti, Podcast, RiseUp Tagged With: critical questions, difficult questions, youth

RiseUp Podcast: Modesty

February 18, 2015 by NickGalieti

https://media.blubrry.com/mormonfaircast/www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/RiseUp-Modesty.mp3

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Modesty is a challenging subject for both youth and adults to wrap their heads around, especially considering the constant challenges to gospel standards from society. That is why it is important to hear from those who deal with this issue on a daily basis, and have overcome some of the struggles associated with staying true to those standards.

 

We are happy to introduce a new voice on the RiseUp podcast. Now a freshman in college, Katelyn has lived across the United States. In this episode she addresses the topic of modesty with some stories from her own life.

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Filed Under: Podcast, RiseUp Tagged With: Modesty, youth

RiseUp Podcast: What’s Wrong with Masturbation

January 8, 2015 by NickGalieti

https://media.blubrry.com/mormonfaircast/www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/RiseUp-WhatsWrongWithMasturbation.mp3

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Youth, or Young Adults in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have had questions about various aspects and applications of the Law of Chastity. One such question surrounds quotes and commentary on masturbation. This response is read by Steve Densley, Executive Vice-President of FairMormon in a podcast he published in Jan 2013.

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Question Submitted to FairMormon:

I’ve been reading a lot lately on the internet and listening to podcasts about the church’s stance on masturbation and the current science on the subject. I have understood that masturbation is considered to be addictive and that Jesus taught that we should not think lustfully about members of the opposite gender. But some people are saying that the Church’s approach to this issue has changed lately, and that masturbation is no longer considered a serious sin. I’m also hearing that if a man does not ejaculate regularly, that it could be harmful and even lead to death. I know that looking at pornography is wrong. It is misleading, degrading and lusting after any person who is already married is a sin. However, I wonder now if masturbation without lusting after someone to whom you are not married might be acceptable.

And now for the answer:
In responding to this question, there are two main points that should be considered: 1) Sexuality is sacred, and its enjoyment is given strict bounds by scripture and modern revelation; and 2) Sexual acts, including masturbation, generate profound and powerful neurochemical reactions.

These two principles are, it seems, related–the physical and mental consequences of sexuality are so important and powerful that God has good reason to give us commandments that help us enjoy the best of those consequences and avoid the worst.

Now, you distinguish pornography use from masturbation, and in a way that’s valid. For instance, part of the sin of pornography use is lustfully, selfishly using images of another’s sacred body, and supporting an industry that exploits those sacred bodies for profit. Masturbation without pornography at least avoids that.

However, in a larger sense, pornography use and masturbation are not so distinguishable. Their main feature is the same: They change sexuality from the divinely-sanctioned sacrament of love for another, into a solely self-oriented activity.

Let’s talk more about what it means to say that sexuality is sacred. First, and most obviously, through the power of procreation, we share in the creative power of God by helping to bring His children into this world. But there are other ways in which proper use of the procreative power helps us to become more like God. Our ultimate goal in life is to become like Christ by overcoming selfishness and becoming a person who is perfectly able and willing to love and serve others. Because sexuality is so powerful, it can easily motivate selfishness–wanting to use others for one’s own sexual gratification. To prevent that, and to help us progress, God instead taught us how to express sexuality in a context, marriage, that encourages selflessness, kindness, and loyalty.

Therefore, a problem with masturbation is that it removes sexuality from that very important context of kindness in marriage. Even though masturbation doesn’t use others for gratification, it teaches an individual to regard sexuality as an individual event, free from the demands of a spouse.

This is where neurochemistry comes in, too. Sexual climax involves incredibly powerful chemical events that can even be analogized to the effect of powerful drugs. Both make the brain perceive incredible pleasure. Because of neuroplasticity (the brain’s tendency to rewire itself so that a stimulus and its response are closely associated with each other), sexual stimulus will be associated with its incredible neurochemical reward. Some of the chemicals that are released during sex are the same as those released after a woman gives birth. And just as these chemicals help a mother to bond with a newborn child, they also help sexual partners to feel bonded to one another.

But when sexual stimulus comes in the form of masturbation, completely devoid of the sharing and vulnerability and complementarity of marriage, then the brain can become wired so that it is primarily masturbation that produces the reward, and an individual can become increasingly unable to sexually respond to a spouse. Masturbation and intercourse are simply different. One who masturbates frequently has a very direct knowledge of what actions bring pleasure most effectively. It can be difficult or impossible for a spouse to reproduce the pleasure that a masturbator has learned how to produce on his or her own. Thus, sexuality, if not expressed in the context of a loving and devoted relationship, turns inward and becomes a focus on self. It is spiritually dangerous to use sexuality for self when God intends for it to be used to help us overcome our love of self.

Even if one were to masturbate while focusing one’s thoughts on one’s spouse, it’s still impossible to replicate the experience of being with another, actual person with flaws and fears and perhaps very different sexual needs. It doesn’t change the fact that one is providing one’s own sexual stimulus, instead of having to learn how to give and receive.

Any claims you have heard that you will be physically harmed unless you do masturbate are simply false, or greatly over-blown. There is a study that shows that older men have a lower risk of prostate cancer if they ejaculate more frequently. However, this same finding was not replicated in the case of young men. In fact,higher rates of masturbation raise the risk of prostate cancer in young men. Interestingly, more frequent intercourse did NOT raise the risk, but masturbation did.

In approaching issues of obedience, the correct approach is not to lay out the “risks and benefits” of obeying or not, and then trying to decide where the best “deal” lies. It seems instead, that our first question ought to be, is it true that God wants me to abstain from masturbation. If so, it doesn’t matter what it does to my physical health, or anything else. And, we must not over-look the possibility that men who are more healthy, more vigorous, etc. for a variety of reasons may be more sexually active or interested–thus, the finding may not be a matter of cause and effect, but more ejaculatory acts may reflect better over-all health. And, masturbation in young men might reflect higher hormone levels, which in the long run might lead to higher cancer risk–again, perhaps the link isn’t causative. Or, perhaps masturbation leads to higher hormone levels via positive feedback. No one knows yet.

The prophets have been clear that masturbation is not a practice that is approved by the Lord. While the current edition of For the Strength of Youth pamphlet does not use the term “masturbation,” it clearly refers to the act all the same. It reads: “Do not do anything else that arouses sexual feelings. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.”

President Packer made it clear that it is not a grave, heinous sin on the order of (say) fornication or adultery, but it is still something we should avoid:

One of you, perhaps, has not fully understood until now. Perhaps your father did not talk to you. You may already have been guilty of tampering with these powers. You may even have developed a habit. What do you do then?

First, I want you to know this. If you are struggling with this temptation and perhaps you have not quite been able to resist, the Lord still loves you. It is not anything so wicked nor is it a transgression so great that the Lord would reject you because of it, but it can quickly lead to that kind of transgression. It is not pleasing to the Lord, nor is it pleasing to you. It does not make you feel worthy or clean.

(To Young Men Only, pamphlet, Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)

President Kimball said something similar: “Masturbation, a rather common indiscretion, is not approved of the Lord nor of his church, regardless of what may have been said by others whose ‘norms’ are lower. Latter-day Saints are urged to avoid this practice. Anyone fettered by this weakness should abandon the habit before he goes on a mission or receives the holy priesthood or goes in the temple for his blessings.” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Love Versus Lust,” Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Provo, 5 Jan. 1965], p. 22.)

Note that he calls it both “common” and an “indiscretion.” It is also termed a “weakness.” This isn’t something catastrophic, and it acknowledges that most of us have to learn how to moderate this part of our lives. But, the standards that the Lord teaches are clear. And, if we are not willing to obey him in the “little” things, when faced with a greater trial, we will not have developed either the strength or resolve to obey in the big things.

C.S. Lewis has a wonderful passage in which he describes what may be the root reason that God gives us this commandment:

For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back: sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect love: no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself….

Masturbation involves this abuse of imagination in erotic matters (which I think bad in itself) and thereby encourages a similar abuse of it in all spheres. After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little, dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.

(C.S. Lewis, letter to Keith Masson (3 June 1956); cited in Yours, Jack: Spiritual Direction from C.S. Lewis (HarperOne, 2008), 292-293.)

At the very least, it violates one of the commands of Jesus:

27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut if off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
(Matthew 5:26 – 30.)

Jesus here tells us to abstain from lust. And, frankly, masturbation without lust is pretty difficult, even in the manner you describe. Could this be difficult for us? Yes, many people find it so. But, Jesus makes it clear that to be his disciple, we must be prepared to sacrifice our comfort, and even things that we cherish deeply. Losing an eye or hand is a big deal: but, Jesus uses these symbolically as something which we must be willing to part with if it keeps us from obeying God.

This is the sort of case where theory and talking is not as good as practice. “If any man will do his will,” said Jesus, “he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.” (John 7:17.)

There are many people who can verify that it is entirely possible to have a happy life and later rewarding marriage despite abstinence from masturbation. But, the only way, in some sense, to become convincedRise of that is to try the experiment. And, if one is not able to try the experiment, that suggests that this is more of a problem than one might suspect. If you find yourself in this situation, you will find strength and encouragement if you will read the recent counsel of the Church and if you will take up these matters with your bishop, and with the Lord.

If there is an issue that you have been wondering about, you can often find the latest answers at the FAIR wiki, found at fairmormon.org. If you can’t find your answer there, feel free to pose your question to the FAIR apologists by visiting the FAIR contact page. Occasionally, such a question will be featured on FAIR Questions. Before questions are used for this podcast, permission is obtained from the questioner.

Questions or comments about this episode can be sent to [email protected] Or join the conversation at fairblog.org.

Tell your friends about us and help increase the popularity of this podcast by subscribing in iTunes and by writing a review.

Music for this episode was provided courtesy of Lawrence Green.

The opinions expressed in this podcast are not necessarily the views of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or of FAIR.

Filed Under: Podcast, RiseUp, SteveDensleyJr Tagged With: chastity, LDS, Masturbation, Mormon, Young Adults, youth

RiseUp Podcast: Small and Simple Truths Blog Interview

December 11, 2014 by NickGalieti

https://media.blubrry.com/mormonfaircast/www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/RiseUp-Smallandsimpletruths.mp3

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In this episode of the RiseUp podcast, Blake sits down with some young adults who are called as digital missionaries in their stake. As digital missionaries they share articles and testimony on a blog called SmallAndSimpleTruths.com

These youth talk about being called as digital missionaries, and what it means to defend your beliefs online, as well as sharing your testimony with strangers. They talk about how they were able to overcome the fears they had and how this calling has blessed their lives and the lieves of their readers.

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Filed Under: Podcast, RiseUp, Youth Tagged With: #sharegoodness, blogging, digital missionary, Small and Simple Truths, youth

RiseUp Podcast: Talking with your Parents About Sex

October 22, 2014 by NickGalieti

https://media.blubrry.com/mormonfaircast/www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/RiseUp-TalkingWithParentsAboutChastity.mp3

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A challenging subject for youth and young adults to address with one another, but the law of Chastity, sex, is something that is best if not left to the world take the lead. How does one talk with their parents about sex, why are parents the best source? Jimmy Carpenter gives some brief thoughts on the subject. (This one is best to listen to with your parents.)

RiseUp is a podcast for young adults who have difficult questions about church teachings and doctrines. Subscribe to the RiseUp (only) feed in iTunes, click here. 

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Filed Under: Chastity, Podcast, RiseUp Tagged With: chastity, sex, Young Adults, youth

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